I get it. Because I lived it.
Getting the life you want is an inside job. We usually get this backwards. We think if we achieve, obtain, get or secure the things we say we want on the outside, then we get to feel the way we want to feel on the inside. Every decision we make is really because we are after a feeling. Think about it, you choose relationships, career, hobbies all for a feeling. If it was really that simple why do so many who have achieved continue to feel less than happy?
I get it. Because I did it too. I married the guy, had the kid, got the degrees, bought the house, landed the right job, et. etc. Always in the pursuit of happiness. When things fell into place I felt happy-ish. What I started to realize is that even when I got whatever I thought I wanted the feeling I was after was fleeting. Then there was space for what my brain would do while I was in pursuit of the next goal. I would start to allow thoughts of fear, anxiety, insecurity to fill in the gap while I was waiting for the other shoe to drop if things were too, “good”. As crazy as this may sound, I bet you know the drill. Pretty exhausting, right?
What I have since learned is that what is in my “head space” is up to me. I started to learn how my brain works, what the relationship is between thoughts and feelings and how to get more of the ones I want and less of the ones that I don’t. Your brain is incredible and capable of so many things, most importantly-change… What would you do differently if your life felt the way you wanted it to feel? How would this change the way you show up in the world? How would it impact your relationship with yourself, your work, your children or significant other? No circumstance, person or event can keep you from feeling the way you want to feel. The only thing that is stopping you is you.